I feel so uncommon,
and yet, I'm a commoner,
a common one
amongst these common people
I try to stand out
and tell the commoners
that I'm not so common,
but they drag me in,
and force me to behave common
I do uncommon things
and my thinking is so uncommon,
yet, the common ones take over,
and rule the uncommon,
as if common is so uncommon
and the uncommon is so common

 

blah...

 

 

 

 

Musicians are supposed to be heard,

not seen, is what he believed

He, who'd not be heard now

and not even be seen

For whom,

the surs were the prayers

For whom,

the namaaz and the music were alike

He, who'd put his soul

and his life

in the sound of his Shehnai

To him, the Ustaad,

we bid an adieu

coz' now he'd spread

the sweetness in the heaven

Goodbye Ustaad,

the Ratna, the legend, the maestro  

 

Phew! I read my last post again and realized how frustrated I was when I wrote it. Thanks for your great comments on it people. :) The point is that we understand a lot of things and still pretend that we don't. That's because we know the reasons behind them but those reasons are not acceptable to us.

 

For all those who'd been worried about my mental state, I'm in a good one. :D It's good to vent out things at times and good to see others respond to it; positive or negative, whatever it is.

 

Awrite, I'm getting back to work now. Lemme fight the monday blues. The sight of a busy week ahead makes me feel lazy :p

 

 

We have one life to live. Still, in this life, we're not allowed to live the way we want to. Why? Because, we live in a society. Beacuse, we're humans, not animals. There are some rules that we need to follow. There's a way in which we need to do things. If we don't or refuse to, we're considered rebels; we're considered foolish; we're considered crazy.

 

Why at all do we need to live a life based on rules? What all can you control with rules? Just because what you're doing isn't aceptable in the society, it cannot be termed as bad or wrong. Tell me how you can avoid falling in love with a person whom you cannot get married to just because your horoscopes don't match. Are all successful marraiges a result of perfectly matched horoscopes? Is that the only thing that plays a major role in making a marraige successful? I still don't understand how someone can predict what a relationship is going to be like by just looking at the horoscopes. Haven't we seen unsuccessful relationships and broken marraiges inspite of having matched the horoscopes and everything else that's involved?

 

Ok, leave this apart. Why do girls get more affected than guys in cases of broken engagements and marraiges? Things have changed quite a lot these days. It doesn't matter much. Still, that kind of a mindset persists in the society. Let's take an example of rape. A girl is obviously the affected one in rape cases. We all know that it's actually not the girl's fault. Still, how many guys are ready to accept a girl who's been raped? Why do they blur the girl's face when they show the rape news on television? How many guys are willing to marry such a girl? Even if the guy is willing to, would his parents be willing to accept her as their daughter-in-law? Wouldn't they be again worried about what people will have to say about it? A rape is more of a mental abuse than a physical one. Do we understand this? Do all the females understand this? Because it's mostly females who stand against the other females.

 

And why, after marraige, does a girl have to move to the guy's place? Is there a reason behind this? Why's the girl supposed to wear symbols of marraige all the time after getting married? For guys, it's so easy. No difference. They wear the same kind of clothes and they don't get to wear any added marraige-specific accessories. Is it bad if a girl doesn't wear all these symbols? Will the people point a finger on her if she doesn't? They do. Why?

 

Now tell me why I can't go and live with a friend, who's a guy, just because he's a HE and I'm a SHE. So, if I do, it's bad, right? Or is it wrong on my part to do that because it isn't acceptable to other people? Tell me how it affects others. Does anyone really get affected if I do things like that? Okay, I have a clear conscience. So what? For others, it's not. Just beacuse others would think bad about me, say things about me, and since this would affect the people related to me, i.e., my family, I shouldn't do it, right?. Did I just answer my own question? I don't think so.

 

Why's it considered bad if a girl smokes or drinks? (don't give me any stupid health reasons) Is it just because a girl has to bear a child in the long term and these habits might affect the child? No. It's because it's BAD if a girl smokes or drinks. It's just that she's not supposed to. It's because she's a GIRL. Isn't it? How many families would accept a daughter-in-law who smokes and drinks?

 

The good, the bad, the right, the wrong; it's all inside us. It's what WE think. It's what our conscience feels about something. Am I right? I know but I pretend that I don't know.

 

I'm not a feminist people. It's just what I feel. It's what I'd not like to talk about; it's what I'd like to scream out to the deaf, the blind, and the mute ones.

 

NO ONE AND NOTHING CAN OR WILL CHANGE.
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY.
WE ARE A PART OF THE SOCIETY.
WE ARE THE SOCIETY.
FOLLOW THE RULES OR YOU'D BE BOYCOTTED AND BEATEN TO DEATH.
DEATH BY WORDS.

 

I'm dead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another day in school got over and I, as usual, headed towards Miss Olvita's office to get the toffees. She smiled on seeing me and gave me a handful of them. I grinned and ran out of the office. I stood near the gate waiting for Kartar Singh, the driver, to come and pick me up. As I stood there, I saw Rocky heading towards me. He was waving continuously and I waved too, acknowledging his wave. I was happy to see him because I'd been standing alone for long and thought that he'd give me company. But, I didn't know what he had up his sleeve that day. I expected him to stop near me but he went past me like a tornado, snatching away my toffees and giving me a push. I fell down in the mud and sat there watching him walking away merrily, stuffing the toffees in his pocket, and making faces at me.

 

I was in a state of shock. It was the first time someone had behaved like that with me. Till the time I got up, Kartar Singh showed up at the gate and ran towards me to find out what happened. I didn't tell him anything; I wasn't in a state to. I handed over my bag and bottle to him and sat in the back seat of the car, gazing out of the window. Kartar Singh was a bit worried seeing my behavior because it was so unlike me. Usually, I used to literally jump over him, give him one of my toffees, and sit in the front chatting away to glory about how the day went. At home too, I remained quiet and didn't talk to anyone about anything. Everyone wondered as to what had happened.

 

I was burning with anger. I wanted to take revenge. While taking my afternoon nap, I kept thinking about how to teach him a lesson for depriving me of Sister Olvita's toffees for a day. I thought and thought. Finally, I came up with a plan.

 

It was lunch time the next day in school. Rocky, Kanav, Richa, Tanya, and I rushed to take a ride in the Merry-Go-Round after finishing lunch. Rocky seemed to have forgotten about the incident but I hadn't. I was ready to do what I had to. The Merry-Go-Round went round and round with the five of us on it. We were screaming with joy. "Faster!!", we all shouted together to the guy who was rotating the Merry-Go-Round. He speeded it up and we continued screaming and shouting. I knew what I'd to do. I'd deliberately stood closer to Rocky. The Merry-Go-Round was at its fastest and I couldn't wait any longer. One push with all my force and Rocky was on the ground, bleeding from the corner of his mouth. He'd broken a tooth.

 

The Merry-Go-Round person stopped the ride immediately and rushed towards Rocky. Kanav, Richa, and Tanya too did. I didn't. I'd taken my revenge by breaking his tooth; the tooth that he must have used to eat my toffees. I ran away from the sight. I ran aimlessly. I stopped at the pond near the school gate and sat near it. I didn't know why I felt bad; I felt guilty; I felt like I'd committed a sin. I didn't know why I didn't feel happy about breaking Rocky's tooth. I didn't feel happy about my victory. I burst into tears; the tears of guilt; the tears of shame about treating my best friend this way.

 

I got up and rushed to Sister Olvita's office. Kanav, Richa, Tanya, were already there, standing besides Rocky. Sister Olvita was stroking Rocky's hair and talking to him. He wasn't crying as I'd expected. Kanav, Richa, and Tanya looked at me and then looked away. I felt ashamed. Sister Olvita looked at me and smiled. I went and stood besides Rocky, looking at him from the corner of my eyes. My eyes couldn't meet Sister Olvita's; I couldn't look at her.

 

"Divya, I know you're feeling bad for Rocky. After all, he's your best friend. I understand. He's just lost one tooth. Don't worry.", Sister Olvita said, resting her hand on my shoulder.

 

"But Sister..", I tried to speak. "I know child. Just take care whenever you go on the Merry-Go-Round next, okay?", she said.

 

I was confused. "Didn't Sister know that it was I who pushed Rocky?", I thought. I again looked at Rocky from the corner of my eye. He seemed to be least bothered about what had happened. He looked at me and grinned. He looked so funny with a missing tooth but that

didn't make me laugh. Instead, I started crying.

 

"Uh oh!", Sister Olvita exclaimed.

 

"Didn't you tell her that I pushed you from the Merry-Go-Round?", I asked Rocky, almost screaming. "You're so bad! You should have told her. I'm feeling terrible. I'm sorry!" I started crying even more.

 

"I'm sorry Sister! I'm so sorry! I just wanted to teach him a lesson for taking the toffees that you'd given me yesterday. I didn't want to hurt him!" I went on.

 

I felt Sister Olvita's hand on my head and Rocky's on my shoulder. My face was red with tears trickling down from the corner of eyes. Sister Olvita smiled when I looked at her. "Wait here my child", she said and headed towards her room. I was wondering if she's going to get a cane. I hung my head and stood like that. Rocky still had his hand on my shoulder.

 

After a minute, she returned. I couldn't see a cane in her hand. She was carrying two brown packets. I wondered even more. She handed over the packet to me and said, "These are double the number of toffees I give you daily. That's because you're my sweet child and today, I find you even sweeter." She turned towards Rocky now and handed him the other packet. "And you're no less Rocky. God bless both of you."

 

"Don't forget to share your toffees okay?" She told me smilingly. "Because sharing increases love and strengthens the friendship." I nodded and blinked at Rocky. He grinned again, and this time, I laughed.

 

Till now, we were unaware of Kanav, Richa, and Tanya. They'd been watching the whole thing and looked quite amused with what had happened. Sister Olvita waved at us and left. We looked at each other and grinned.

 

"Now would you guys share some of them with us? We don't want to end up with a broken tooth like Rocky!" Richa said grinning. The five of us burst into laughter.

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For Parts I and II, refer:

http://divoo.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!5671160EEAA4077A!802.entry (Part II)

http://divoo.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!5671160EEAA4077A!782.entry (Part I)

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